Posted by : Blyton Pinto | Parenting
Time is scarce for everyone. Many of us feel that 24 hours is not enough to complete everything we have to do. So we prioritize the important things. But are your kids special to you? If your answer is Yes, think again
Time is the most precious commodity today. Its value stems from its scarcity. We all try to do our best with the limited time we have. We juggle between work, spouse, kids, friends, relatives, commitment to Church, community or society.
Inevitably, someone or the other suffers, at any point in time. Sometimes it is our kids. But as parents, we have a sacred responsibility to make them feel secure, loved and special.
Here are a few tips for you to show your kids that you are willing to give up your precious time for them
1. Kids feel special when you look into THEIR eyes when talking to them, NOT at your gadgets
This seems pretty obvious, but the fact is many of us think that we are spending quality time with our kids by simply physically sitting next to them while peering into our gadgets. When our kids talk to us, we get irritated within, because we feel they are disturbing us. We answer them in mono-syllables or distract them with little chores so that we are left alone. We end up splitting so-called quality time between our kids and our gadgets.
During a psychological assessment at one of my previous workplace, a psychologist told me “It’s better to spend 15 minutes of 100% dedicated time with your kids than 1 hour of distracted time with them”. Kids are very perceptive and can tell you off if they feel they are not getting your attention.
2. Have regular 1-on-1’s with your kids to make them feel special
I tried this when my kids were younger. I used to take one at a time to my room, shut the door and have a 15-20 dedicated conversation with them. That had such a huge impact on them, even many years later, they remember it. While for me, as a parent, it was an important opportunity to know what’s going on in their lives. I wish I continued these sessions for a longer time than I actually did. To mix it up a bit, you can tell them about your life too. Especially, your own childhood stories. They will simply love it and ask for more.
3. Affirm….Affirm….Affirm to boost your child’s self-esteem and confidence
How much ever I state this, it is not enough. Humans thrive on appreciation and recognition. Everyone wants some attention at some point in time or the other or from someone or the other. Affirmation can do wonders to children. It lifts them up to great heights and makes them feel invincible. Even though this emotion is temporary, repeated affirmation, over a longer period of time is good to build your child’s confidence and courage. However, don’t flatter them. Know the difference.
Time is in short supply and every second that passes by takes you closer to your end. Make it count, not just for yourself but for the ones that God has entrusted to you, given to you directly, to love and cherish. “Quality time” means giving all of your heart, mind, and body, to your child, when you are with them. I think we really owe it to them.
How do you spend time with your kids? What does “quality time” mean to you?
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