3 Steps To Forgive Others

Posted by : Blyton Pinto | Spirituality

It may be easier for a moderately trained climber to scale Mt. Everest than for us to forgive someone who has hurt us. It is difficult but POSSIBLE

                                                       Photo by Nick Demou from Pexels

There are hundreds of methods you can use to forgive others but I’m going to share with you 3 steps that I personally try to use. Their effectiveness depends a lot on how you use them and most importantly the intentions of your heart. 

First Step

To be able to forgive and reconcile with someone who hurt us is purely and solely a grace from God. It's not humanly possible for most of us, but with divine help, we can. This is a very important fact we need to realize.

Matthew 19:26
“By human resources, this is impossible; for God everything is possible”

Second Step

A human being is a creature, hence is limited in its capacity. But God is the creator, by virtue of which He is limitless. But leaning onto God gives us the strength to do extraordinary feats.

Philippians 4:13
“There is nothing I cannot do in the One who strengthens me”

The above 2 steps are the basic necessities on the forgiveness journey. Don't even attempt to go further if you do not internalize these promises from God.

Third Step

Now come the actual exercises that can help you Forgive.

       1.  Plead with God, daily, for the grace to forgive. Do not relent or give up on this prayer. It may take years or a lifetime. But if you show your intent, God blesses it. The story of the persistent widow in Luke 18: 1-18 is a beautiful promise from God about never giving up on a prayer

        2.  Pray for the person whom you cannot forgive. Every Rosary or Mass or Adoration or Way of the Cross, offer the person and your unforgiveness to God and ask God to turn your evil into good. Pray that God blesses the other person and grants all their intentions and desires. Visualise the person’s face or imagine the person is in front of you.

Luke 6:27
“Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who treat you badly”

       3. Behind the hurting action of the other person, there will definitely be a hidden reason for that behavior, which you, and many times the other person too may not aware of. But we are affected by words and actions. Hence we are hurt, hate and resent. In such situations remember the secret below

Ephesians 6:12
“For it is not against human enemies that we have to struggle, but against the principalities and the ruling forces who are masters of the darkness in this world, the spirits of evil”

These 3 steps can give you a much higher chance of success of forgiving the other person when you come face to face. That’s your final test. Remember, as one of my readers commented, it takes time.

In summary, don’t try to do the noble task of forgiving others, on your own. Set yourself up for success by taking God’s help. Pray persistently for the one you hate, and realize that your real enemy is not that person, but the evil of unforgiveness.

How do you forgive others? What is your biggest obstacle to forgiving others?

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