Posted by : Blyton Pinto | Spirituality
A sure way to destroy your happiness is NOT to forgive someone who has caused you pain and anger
There are hundreds of methods to inflict pain on yourself. Some methods are more effective than others while some can hurt you in one or more areas. Out of all these different self-inflicting methods, the mother of all is - Unforgiveness
I’m sharing my personal tryst with unforgiveness and therefore making myself vulnerable. While I am still struggling with this beast, I don’t want to keep quiet about it. I hope this touches a chord with you, who probably may be battling the same beast. It kind of gives us hope and renewed strength when we know we are not alone.
How can unforgiveness harm you?
It can harm you in many areas, some of which are - physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. I believe unforgiveness is the most deadly poison ever, and the faster we realize this, the better the chances of preventing misery. Let’s look at each area very briefly.
There are short and long-term ill-effects of unforgiveness on your health. The short-term effects usually occur when the target of your unforgiveness interacts with you (face to face, phone conversation etc.). The symptoms are - shallow but a higher rate of breathing, increased blood pressure, faster heart rate and logically speaking many chemicals and hormones are released in your body, brain etc. as a defensive or offensive mechanism.
The long-term effects could be a higher risk of deadly diseases like cancer, heart disease, diabetes. An acidic body is more prone to these diseases. Your body can become acidic not only through food like meat but also through feelings/emotions like unforgiveness. For a deeper understanding, read this amazing article from Reader's Digest - Healing Through Forgiving
You can become a knotted bundle of uncontrollable emotions when interacting with your target. Though you decide not to be rude or angry or harsh, you actually end up doing exactly that. Your desire to cause pain and hurt to the person, makes you withhold love and respect, causing you to behave more like a person you are actually not. This is emotional turmoil which destroys your peace.
The ill-effects from the above two are sufficient to cause you mental anguish. Anxiety, depression, distrust, attributing imaginary motives to the actions of the other person, avoidance, stress caused by hiding your unforgiveness from others, are some of the consequences of unforgiveness on your mental health.
This is the most damaging. All the above affect you while you are living but this one can take you down for all eternity. Imagine that - for all eternity. It also leads to other sins like resentment, hatred, jealousy, bitterness.
In summary, we all want to be happy but all the above consequences of unforgiveness are a barrier to our goal. One sure shot thing we can do to ensure we are on the way to happiness is to forgive.
Have you had to deal with unforgiveness? What is the most important lesson you learned from it?
I hope you enjoyed reading and if you liked it or know of someone else who may like it, I'd appreciate if you share.